Monday, January 30, 2012

Death of a Salesman blog

Character
In my opinion, Biff is the most interesting character. He goes through struggles just like the rest of his family, but the difference with him is that he learns from them. Biff is the only character who really finds himself and realizes that the "American Dream" his father and brother are chasing can end in nothing but disaster. Biff shows contempt for the standard nine to five, business world, busy lifestyle. He says, "To suffer fifty weeks of the year for the sake of a two-week vacation, when all you really desire is to be outdoors, with your shirt off. And always to have to get ahead of the next fella. And still--that's how you build a future" (30). Yet this is the American Dream of the time: working your way up through by your business endeavors, making as much money as you can. Despite his dislike for this lifestyle, Biff says that every spring he thinks, "What the hell am I doing, playing around with horses, twenty-eight dollars a week! I'm thirty-four years old, I oughta be makin' my future" (31). He struggles with whether he should do what he loves, or what he thinks will build a future for himself. Biff is confined by the current American Dream that is forced upon him by society, as well as by his parents. Linda, Biff's mother, tells him, "Biff, [your father's] life is in your hands!" (63). To this, Biff responds, "I've been remiss. I know that, Mom. But now I'll stay, and I swear to you, I'll apply myself. Kneeling in front of her, in a fever of self-reproach: It's just--you see, Mom, I don't fit in business. Not that I won't try. I'll try, and I'll make good" (63). Biff's struggle is epitomized in this quote. He wants to help his family (mostly his mother) and is sure that he has potential at something, however, he knows that he just isn't cut out for business. He hates himself for this, for failing his family, but there really isn't anything he can do. Yet he swears that he will try. He'll try to uphold the Dream that he was never meant for. Finally, Biff comes to terms with the fact that his dream is different from that of his family. He realizes what it is that he wants:
I stopped in the middle of that building and saw--the sky. I saw the things that I love in this world. The  
work and the food and time to sit and smoke. And I looked at the pen and said to myself, what the hell am I grabbing this for? Why am I trying to become what I don't want to be? What am I doing in an
office, making a contemptuous, begging fool of myself, when all I want is to be out there, waiting for
me the minute I say I know who I am! Why can't I say that, Willy? (124, 125)
Biff finds himself and openly declares that his dream is not to be stuck in some office, but to be outside. The American Dream that he imagines is one where he is free to use his time as he pleases and to work as he pleases. Once Biff accepts this, he is able to fully realize the despair that his family is in because they've been chasing the popular American Dream and it has continued to elude them, showing that they were not cut out to achieve it. Biff begs his father to "take that phony dream and burn it before something happens" (125) but Willy won't and that gets to him in the end. Biff struggles with what his dream is because it is so different from that of his parents, but in the end, he realizes his dream is one of freedom and open air and not to be confined in an office or even a car. With this realization, he is able to go after his dream with much better prospects of success than he would have had if he had followed in his father's footsteps.


Work as a Whole
Biff's struggle highlights the theme that the truth is what will free them from their continuing despair of failure. When Biff admits that he "don't fit in business" (63) and realizes he wants to be "out there, waiting for [him] the minute [he says] I know who I am!" (125) that's when he can really face his dreams and achieve them. Biff knows that Willy is a liar and wants him to realize it too and change his ways so as to be enlightened like Biff. Willy's endless lies regarding his job, his mistress, his abilities, have sent him into a tailspin and his refusal to admit his failures leads him to his demise.



My American Dream
"You know that feeling where you try really hard to think of something, yet your mind remains completely blank? Yeah, well that’s how it was for me trying to start this project. This is a glimpse of what my thought process was leading up to this: “So, what is my dream? Well… um…. Ok well what do I want to be? A nurse? Maybe. A teacher? I don’t know. Maybe a different approach would be better. Is there anything I’ve always wanted to do? I’m not sure skydiving could fill a whole essay…” On and on it went, ideas rising up on waves only to be dashed as they hit the rocks of my realism. Every time I “try out” another goal, something happens to make me decide that it is either insufficient or unattainable. However, I have recently had an epiphany: My dream does not need to fit the criteria of what other people think a dream should be--there really aren’t any standards. It doesn’t need some intense, grueling process that has to occur in order for it to be achieved, or a dramatic end point from which I can look back and say, “Yes! I achieved my goal!” From this realization I was able to shape my new dream for my life. Although in comparison to most “dreams” it is incredibly anticlimactic, I think it is equally important. My dream, simply put, is to be brave. I want to live each day with the courage to proudly proclaim my beliefs, go out of my comfort zone to help someone, live in order to please Christ rather than my peers, defy stereotypes, actively seek God’s will for my life. Now, I know this will be difficult, considering it is completely against my human nature, but I think that through much prayer, reading the Bible and making a daily choice to follow the prompting of God, rather than the world, it can be achieved."


This was the intro to my dream essay from last year. I know it isn't really an "American Dream," but I think it still is mine. I still don't know what I want to do with my life, or what legacy I want to leave. The only thing I can do is take life one day at a time and be brave enough to live for Christ, and to move forward without regrets. I think that is what I would add to the topic of this essay: to move forward without regrets. It takes a certain amount of courage to continue onward and accept that there is nothing we can do about the past, nothing we can change. It takes a certain amount of courage to let go. Being brave is scary--I'm sure I'll have to stand up to people and stand up for people--but I think it will be more than worth the cost.





Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year's Eve walk: a reflection on 2011

These are the pictures I took on my New Year's Eve day walk and the ideas or thoughts that I associated with each image as I captured it. They don't all fit into a single category and may not seem to correlate at all, but maybe that reflects my year. I don't know if I can say I've learned one big idea, but rather become more sensitive to several, smaller ideas. These are the things I saw that stood out to me for whatever reason:


Things that are old and worn can still be in working
condition.

Little, quirky additions can be the ones that bring smiles.


Sometimes strangling things can look good
to begin with.

Even in the bitter cold of the winter, there is constant
hope that a warmer spring will come.



Simple ironies bring me amusement. (The sign after the "No Turn
Around..." sign says "Turn Around Here")

Steep climbs are often the most rewarding.
These stairs are on a path leading from my house
to the community beach, on of my favorite places
to go.

It's alright that a fence has gaps and holes.
It doesn't make it any less sturdy, but it does allow
people to see what's inside. I think this is something I realized 
this year and have been slowly working at.  



The sun still shines despite the clouds that cover it. 


All of the branches of this tree point upward.  Shouldn't
we do the same?

At first I thought this was real, then with another look
 realized it wasn't.I thought that merited a picture.

Cross-roads are everywhere. It's usually a good idea
to stop and consider the options ("look both ways")
before continuing.

Sometimes flamboyancy is not the right approach.

The "beauty" of each mailbox does not enhance, nor take
 away from its ability to be a mailbox. 



I just thought this was funny... and strange.





The chains that hold up swings are solid and dependable,
but still allow motion. I think the laws of God are similar.
When followed, they hold us up and support us while, at the
same time, giving us freedom.


Sometimes street signs can be prophetic. 



The Cross stands above.


Life is full of decisions.

You never know where in life a person is. The only thing
about this woman I can know for sure is that she's waiting
for the bus.
Childhood memories can give you a chance to breathe and get away
from the stresses of normal life. I generally welcome the opportunity
 to take a step back and just remember what life used to  be like: who my
friends were, what I valued, who I was. Then I can see how I've changed
and reevaluate whatever I'm stressed about and better
determine how much it actually matters.

Bridges go both ways. Once you cross it, it doesn't necessarily mean you
can never go back. 

Doorways and openings are cool and often necessary, but if they don't lead
anywhere, what's the point? Why spend precious time constructing
something that really doesn't make a difference or have a purpose?
Paths can't always be perfectly flat and without danger, but most of the time,
as long as you are careful and watchful, it isn't too difficult to at least
 stay on your feet.